Here or there: anywhere but nowhere

It’s funny when you simplify your life, we as humans always tend to make things more difficult than they need be. I wittered away excess in my life, social events, travelling, noise, distractions but I soon found them again in another form, especially the distractions. I divorced my husband, or rather we divorced each other, to make choices for myself and I ended up with an even noisier version for a partner and one who never buckles down and completes a task. His dilemmas become mine, not by choice but by default. I seem to get involved more emotionally now also. My simple life has just gotten more complicated and now I’m working on making it busier. Although with the addition of children it automatically got busier. I dream of peaceful bliss sometimes. Oh, how different it is from my years of growing up in mundane Brisbane where I dreamt of adventure and travel and being occupied. It’s so hard to get the balance of life right. It’s hard to sit still and appreciate what we have and on the other hand to light the fire underneath yourself and burn with the desire to achieve, to kick yourself into action. My days alternate between the two. At the end of the day, not too much has been accomplished. I’ve wasted energy on what wasn’t too important and sidelined the important things. But all in all the burning desire has been lit, I just need to fan the flames and make sure I don’t smoke and smother those near and dear but conversely make sure those near and dear don’t smother the flame. As I’ve said, it’s a juggling act like no other and I know I’m not alone in feeling this. How do we get the balance right? I feel the answer is as individual as the question is common.

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